Potty Training *gulp*

Monkey has been ready for potty training for some time now. He's been verbally ready for over a year. He's been physically ready for a good eight months. We've been using the potty on and off for about six months. The hestitation has been on my part.

I didn't want to mess with the mess. The wet pee clothes, the disgusting poop underwear, the constant need to ask if he needed to go... I thought diapers were, well, easier.

He was probably truly ready back in September, but there were already big changes happening in his life. First, we went from a toddler bed to a big kid bed. Then, we were going to be going on a couple of weekend trips. Then it was November and the baby was coming. The timing just wasn't right...

And now, here we are. Diapers are no longer easier. Trying to wrestle a 32 pound, kicking, screaming, wriggling, defiant toddler out of and then back in to a diaper should be an Olympic sport. Plus, I'm already changing 10ish infant diapers a day. I don't need any additional diaper duty.

I decided to work with the momentum of a weekend around Monkey's cousin D. D is 9 months older than Monkey and Monkey basically wants to grow up to be D. Seriously. If I want Monkey to do something, I simply tell him that D does it. Luckily, D is a potty-using rockstar. So, when Monkey said he wanted to use the potty on Monday, I went with it and made my most recent major parenting decision.

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012 - remember the date. The start of some serious potty training.

So far, it's been a 2-steps-forward-1-step-back kind of journey. We've had a few pee accidents, but they seem to have subsided (for now). We had 2 days of pooping in the potty. Then my biggest potty training fear materialized. Yes, it was gross. No, thank God, we weren't really out and about - we were at my very understanding sister's house. Yes, I had to give him a bath. And now, we haven't had any pooping AT ALL for 2 days. *sigh*

In just 5 days, I've run a gamut of emotions.

Pride, joy, elation - he finally did it! This experience has reminded me how everything is new and exciting for a child. Monkey was so happy with himself on Tuesday, I wanted to cry...

Frustation, anger, irritation - he was just doing it! This has been a huge test of my patience as a mom.

I can only imagine how Monkey feels... One minute he's racing to the bathroom with a grin on his face, yelling about having to go pee pee, and then the next minute, he's throwing a fit because I won't put a diaper on him. His life as he's known it for the last 33 months has changed. Majorly.

For now, we're taking it one day at a time. I know this is the only way to do it.

I also know there's no turning back.



Exhaustion

I'm exhausted.

I know this isn't unusual for new (again) parents, but it's really hitting me hard this time. Maybe it's because I'm older than last time. Perhaps it's because I had just gotten used to a full night's sleep again. Or possibly it's because I'm handling a toddler and an infant 14 hours a day.

I don't know why. I just know I'm exhausted.

Budsy is 16 weeks old now and at 15 pounds is physically capable of sleeping through the night. Yet he's still up every few hours at night and insists on nursing. It's driving me insane.

On average, I'm getting about 6 hours of sleep a night. Of course, this isn't 6 straight, restful hours of sleep...

I'm in bed at 10:ish. Asleep around 10:30.

He cries at 12:ish. I stumble down the hall, nurse him, change him, put him back to bed. Put myself back to bed. Asleep around 12:30.

He cries at 3:ish. I stumble down the hall, nurse him, change him, put him back to bed. Put myself back to bed. Asleep around 3:30.

He cries at 4:30ish. I stumble down the hall, pop the pacifier in his mouth, pray that he falls back asleep. Put myself back to bed. Asleep around 4:45.

He cries at 6:ish. I groan and kick my husband - your turn. I listen to him cry while my half-sleeping husband struggles to change him. I listen to his cries get louder as my husband brings him down the hall. I contemplate pretending to be asleep, but realize that it's a lost cause. I sit up and nurse him.

By 6:30 he's asleep again in our bed. I fade in and out of sleep while I try not to roll on the baby. My husband gets up to get ready for the day. Just as I convince myself that it's ok to grab 5 more minutes of sleep, I feel Monkey climbing up on the bed. *sigh*

I'm exhausted.

One on One Time

My mom graciously took Monkey for a day last week, giving me some quality one on one time with Budsy. It was really nice, but it got me thinking about a couple of things. First, I had completely forgotten how boring it is to entertain an infant all day - it's time to haul out the baby toys. And second, it really hit me that I won't have any significant one on one time with Monkey for another 9ish months and it kind of bummed me out.

For 2 1/2 years it was him and me together - day in and day out. The arrival of Budsy changed everything.

I rarely have focused playtime with Monkey anymore. All activities seem to be combined with baby care - nurse the baby while playing trains, burp the baby while reading stories, rock the baby while singing songs. I even front pack the baby during sports class! Budsy is old enough now to be put down for a while, but I'm still splitting my attention between both boys.

Play with Monkey while the baby sleeps, you say? Well, Budsy is a cat napper, which means he only sleeps for about 45 minutes at any given time during the day. One nap is during breakfast, one usually takes place in the car, one is during Monkey's nap, and one final, short nap is usually while I'm attempting to get something that passes for dinner on the table. I can catch about an hour of Mommy-Monkey time between Budsy's bedtime and Monkey's, but it's an exhausting hour for me and I wouldn't necessarily categorize it as quality time.

Part of the problem is that, by choice, I'm exclusively breastfeeding the baby on demand and that means that I have to be available to him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even as he gets older and doesn't nurse as frequently, I'll still have to be there for him throughout the day. It will be like that until around Christmas when I'll start to really wean him. I can throw a bottle in there every once, but those of you that have nursed a baby will understand that I can't really miss more than one feeding.

This all adds up to mean that I can only spend limited one on one time with Monkey. I won't get an entire day for more than an entire year. And that really bums me out.