Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Exhaustion

I'm exhausted.

I know this isn't unusual for new (again) parents, but it's really hitting me hard this time. Maybe it's because I'm older than last time. Perhaps it's because I had just gotten used to a full night's sleep again. Or possibly it's because I'm handling a toddler and an infant 14 hours a day.

I don't know why. I just know I'm exhausted.

Budsy is 16 weeks old now and at 15 pounds is physically capable of sleeping through the night. Yet he's still up every few hours at night and insists on nursing. It's driving me insane.

On average, I'm getting about 6 hours of sleep a night. Of course, this isn't 6 straight, restful hours of sleep...

I'm in bed at 10:ish. Asleep around 10:30.

He cries at 12:ish. I stumble down the hall, nurse him, change him, put him back to bed. Put myself back to bed. Asleep around 12:30.

He cries at 3:ish. I stumble down the hall, nurse him, change him, put him back to bed. Put myself back to bed. Asleep around 3:30.

He cries at 4:30ish. I stumble down the hall, pop the pacifier in his mouth, pray that he falls back asleep. Put myself back to bed. Asleep around 4:45.

He cries at 6:ish. I groan and kick my husband - your turn. I listen to him cry while my half-sleeping husband struggles to change him. I listen to his cries get louder as my husband brings him down the hall. I contemplate pretending to be asleep, but realize that it's a lost cause. I sit up and nurse him.

By 6:30 he's asleep again in our bed. I fade in and out of sleep while I try not to roll on the baby. My husband gets up to get ready for the day. Just as I convince myself that it's ok to grab 5 more minutes of sleep, I feel Monkey climbing up on the bed. *sigh*

I'm exhausted.


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